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The adult couple relationship remains the most private relationship of all and the only known adult couple relationship is that of our parents !
For many individuals their parent’s relationship was an inadequate model. And even if so, we know very little about their issues :
- Why did they chose to remain married with each other in spite of their differences ?
- What problems did they face behind their closed bedroom doors ?
- How did they cope with financial issues ?
- How did they handle their differences in relation to parenting ?
- Can we consider our parent’s marital relationship as an ideal one ?
It is the anxiety experienced by the young adult while ‘trying’ to ‘make it right’ that interferes in the couple relationship.
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 At Spring the couple counselling programme invites couples to identify what they need from each other, i.e. the reason behind their relationship and how they can go about getting what they need from each other.
The goal of the programme is :
- To invite the couples to experience the process of moving beyond the socially understood concept of marriage and the “they lived happily ever after” syndrome to the reality of what relationship is all about.
- It is the real contact which when initially experienced can bring about friction, resistance, aberration and therefore pain.
- Initially both the partners may shy away from the pain and therefore from each other ….
- But the same pain – if dwelt with - in the long run it invites the individuals to connect to long standing, unresolved emotions and internal conflicts of the past.
- These past emotions when approached and touched, help both to come closer to, initially themselves and therefore ultimately each other.
The focus of the couple counselling process is on understanding :
| The concept of relationship : |
needs, feelings, expectations and responsibility |
| Patterns used by individuals : |
Past experiences and conditioning, need for physical and psychological contact |
| Reactions and psychological games : |
Polarities and positions |
| Change : |
Unlocking – principal of honesty and communication |
| Concept of Love : |
Acceptance and space – understanding and sharing |
...so as to begin relating...and finally growing.
At Spring We Believe...
It is the wise unconscious that falls in love with and marries its own unrecognised problem and then in marriage recreates the problematic situation. At least it keeps the person in touch with the problem. At the best, it provides a chance of doing something about it – repairing a bit of the past, perhaps finding a new way of handling difficult feelings and making them less dangerous. When less dangerous, they can be owned and a person becomes a little more whole. So couple relationships are therapeutic !!!
HOW DOES THE COUPLE COUNSELLING PROGRAMME WORK ?
A Couple goes through a number of sessions together as a unit and then are invited to join a group – either individually or together - depending on the therapist’s assessment. The basic five steps are the same as referred to in the ‘individual section’.
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